People in a small West Midlands town are protesting about the legal loophole which is making their lives hell.
Within the computer community, it is common for software to be held “in Escrow”. This guarantees that companies buying software can obtain the rights to the software if their suppliers go out of business. But what many do not realise is that Escrow is in fact a real place – and it’s running out of room fast.
“The trouble was the original wording
of the Escrow Act of 1845”, explained local council Chief Executive, Andy
Trousers. “At the height of the
Industrial Revolution, people buying the newly-designed mill equipment such
as Compton’s Mule or the Spinning Jenny had to know they could get their
hands on the design at short notice if the inventor died, or went out of
business. It was agreed that the
designs should be held in Escrow, being conveniently in the middle of the
country.
“But now with new versions of software hitting the market almost daily, we’re hamstrung by the same law. We have to receive a tape or CD copy of every program sold in the United Kingdom. And even computer media can build up if you get enough of it.”
The new systems developed for the PC after its invention in the 1980s had already resulted in software storage and retrieval being the biggest industry within the borough of Escrow. Warehouses were thrown up on every piece of spare land. But the e-commerce boom of the late 90s has resulted in total chaos.
Parish boundaries
Local MP Charles Disk explained why
the problem has got out of hand – “The Escrow Act was very
strict in saying that intellectual property is only actually held in Escrow
if it’s within the parish boundaries of St Swithin’s Church.
If you stored the software in Solihull or Nuneaton, for example, the director of the company could actually be whipped in the street for non-compliance – another of how outdated this law is. The best way we could resolve this problem would be to expand the parish. But this requires an act of Parliament. I’ve brought it forward as a private member’s bill three times now, but due to reform of the Lords and the Iraq crisis, we’ve never had the debating time needed to get it on the books.”
No room at the inn
In the meantime, the problem daily becomes worse. The release of Windows XPtm has resulted in the bulldozing of the local primary school to make way for a giant storage facility. Escrow’s children are now being educated in Bedworth, and as a result are completely incomprehensible. “You’ve got to realise the effect this is having on family life,” said local housewife Mrs Rita Barn, “Since the local pub started taking in excess copies of point-of-sale applications, my husband hasn’t been able to have a pint for six weeks. It’s driving me mad having him round the house”.
Storage of IBM mainframe operating system manuals now occupies 300,000 sq ft of warehouse space
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